Kedi - Movie Review

Number 13: It is ominous even if it does not fall on a Friday. Yes, it was proved once again when I saw Kedi, the Telugu movie in which Akkineni Nagarjuna and Mamata Mohandas were the main cast.

Unless you are pretty dumb, after reading the above line, you do not expect me to tell you how the movie was. Well to substantiate my conclusion ... 

In the recent times I watched movies like 3 Idiots & My Name is Khan. Actors Aamir and Shahrukh have waited for long time to find such wonderful scripts; also SRK took time to learn how a person with asperger's disability would be, so that he can perform in a perfect manner. Look at Taare Zameen Per how well the movie was taken. The most important thing of all these movies was there is a message for the audience, which was well depicted.

Nagarjuna, however after these many years of acting and at such an age does not have even a percent maturity to find some story which at least has a story line if not a message. In any number of ways you abuse Nagarjuna for his immaturity, I am sure it would fall short in insulting him.

Its time Andhra Pradesh citizens show a minimum class of dignity and maturity when it comes to what they watch. And those in Tollywood show enough maturity to produce decent movies.

There is no film in Tollywood which can even run for a week without Shri. Padmashri Bhramanandam in it. This movie too is no exception. 

My rating: 1/5

My verbal rating: If you find Nagarjuna, say this, "Get well soon".

Kurbaan (2009) - A Karan Johar's Flop Idea

I think the first thing most of the people are thinking about, when it comes to this movie, could be the hot scene shot with Saif and Kareena. The reality is, there was nothing except that Kareena showed her worthless back. Even if you liked it and feet sizzled, then there is nothing else in the movie, which gives you that feeling.

NewYork, Fanaa and the foolish thrilling masala of Final Destination III, if you mix concepts of all these three and try to make a movie, with some good actors, then one would arrive at KURBAAN.

Its a story where the beautiful and gullible Kareena falls in love with the super flirt Saif. Kareena already has a US citizen ship and using that both of them go to USA. They settle down in a remote county in New York. They get introduced to a neighboring family. One day, a girl from that family comes to Kareena and asks her for help. Before Kareena figures out what is happening the girl goes missing. Kareena tries to investigate and finds that all those family members are terrorists; I am sorry, Jihadis, that's what they call themselves. Now the ugly part is even Saif belongs to them.

From here the story is almost nonsense. Special effects of Final Destination have been copied. Stupid FBI plots of Bollywood style are shown. For example, at the end ... an FBI super cop and some  FBI sleuths run behind one terrorist in a subway station. Mind you, this guy has an explosive. After a decent chase, the terrorist runs to a corner and realizes there is no escape; so he triggers the bomb. The station is blown out, many get killed; however, the terrorist who blasted himself, his body could be found. The FBI super cop comes out with some scratches (he was running close to the assassin) while the remaining FBI guys are all dead. BOLLYWOOD ESTYLE ......

Now ... My point of view

India is a country which is a friendly state to USA. Our people have gone to the US for education, employment and business. India, today  is getting a lot of revenue from the US. In such a country why are we making movies which are anti-US??? Is the mafia forcing Bollywood directors make such movies so that at least some set of people start developing hatred towards it???

This movie should be actually banned in India. I am very sure the expected audience for this movie are Pakistanis and Afghans or Iranians. Indians never fired a single bullet or even threw a stone at anyone in the world. We love peace. Even after lakhs of our people die in terrorist attacks every year, we are just trying to talk of only peace.

So there is no point in making such a stupid movie by Indians.

My rating: 2/5

My verbal rating: Worthless

Killing anyone is not the solution. World peace is about extending love. Be it Jesus or Allah or a Hindu god or any one and everyone preached only one thing: Love everyone as you love yourself.

________

Stop Piracy

Wake up SID - (Before you make the audience doze off)

Take out a busy day of your life; book tickets for this movie for the last show of the day and I bet you would doze off before the break. *-Conditions apply, like theater ambiance etc.  :-)

Well its a routine story of a lazy, aimless, dull son of a hardworking, rich dad. The guy is goalless, does not pass the final exams and lands up in nothing. Irritated father scolds him and son leaves home. Ends up in a girl's home whom he got introduced to and helped some time ago. Rest is BS. Does any part of the narration sounds even a little novel or interesting?

The other worst part of the movie is there in the picture above. Bollywood is primarily about glam coefficient, next would be acting. We don't go to the movie to see some one so charmless so dull, I mean she does not have anything to be a heroine. I am not trying to insult anyone here, however everyone has their own place. Just as I cannot be the President of the United States, Konkana Sen Sharma does not deserve to be in Bollywood.

My rating for the movie: 2/5

My verbal rating: Please skip it; zero value for time or money or anything

Kaminey - Mere ticket ke paise vaapas de..!!!!!

Before I start my review of Kaminey, let me first make a few revelations about me.. I am writing a review for the first time. So, there won't be any diplomatic phrases in this. Second thing, I generally watch movie as a typical Indian movie-goer. I keep the baggage of being an engineer, an IIM drop-out outside the theater... !!!!

Let's begin...

When I saw the first promo of Kaminey, I thought this would be similar to Omkara... The dark promos accentuated my feeling... But there were a couple of songs which caught my interest... And it was basically because of those two songs that I went to the movie.... So, in short, I didn't have high expectations from the movie. 

But film critics had something else in mind and all of them gave a consistent rating of 4/5. This created a sort of minute expectation inside me that the movie might be good.

Coming to the movie, it started with Charlie (Shahid -1 who pronounces 'F' for 'S'. So, Saale becomes Faale and so on.) narrating the story about him and his brother Guddu (Shahid  - 2 who stammers while talking). The movie starts with three parallel stories and there would be a lot of confusion in following the movie for the first 30-40 minutes. You need to concentrate hard to make it out. I felt that the director took a long time to set the context of the film. By the time we are clear of the proceedings, it is almost interval time. .Just before the interval, there is a case of mistaken identity and both brothers get swapped. This is the point where I felt the movie would become interesting....!!!

Unfortunately, the second half disappointed me a bit. It was just a bitter pill to swallow at the end..Story wise, there is nothing new in the movie. It is a typical Bollywood potboiler... But it was very slow-paced. It became boring at times... Also, there was a liberal dose of Marathi in the movie which adds further to the confusion..Fortunately, I know Marathi and could enjoy the Marathi part. In fact, it is Amol Gupte who provides relief in the movie with his histrionics as a Marathi Maanus Bhope Bhau.

Let's first talk about the positives of this movie.

1. Dhan te naan..... This song rocks and I am sure everyone would enjoy it in the theater.

2. Amol Gupte's acting.

Now coming to the negatives...

1. Too slow

2. Too dark

3. Too confusing for an average movie-goer

4. Lot of preference given to the technicalities of the movie rather than on the story.

My rating is 1.5/5

I know most critics have given a rating of 4 to this movie but generally most of the critics don't write a review keeping an average movie-goer in mind. They think that they are too intellectual and that's why they give shabbily edited movies like Kaminey and Dev D higher ratings. I am still confused on how some critics gave 5/5 to Dev D!!!!!

Anyways, in a nutshell, this movie made me cry out in vain... Kaminey... Mere Ticket ke paise vaapas de de...!!!!

Kambaqt Ishq - Kis kambaqt ne banaya???

 

Okay, now how many of your know about Kamal Hassan's Bharamchari  which was released in Tamil first and then dubbed in Telugu??? If you don't know about that movie then let me tell you ....

If you take this movie Bhramachari and remove the following ...

1. Fun

2. Decency

3. Sentiment

and add ...,

1. A little vulgarity

2. A lot of nonsense

you just get Kambaqt Ishq out of it. How simple? Ain't it?

The movie doesn't even copy the story of the South properly. Its a tale of two people, a stunt man and a model turned doctor lady. Both of them have one common feature, they hate marriage. Ofcourse our stunt master loves to go on dates but our model is against that too. Now these two people try and spoil the life of their cousins who get married to one another. Later they try and cover up and eventually love one another and finally get married.


This movie according to me did the following mistakes.


1. Making the movie itself
2. Unnecessarily pulling Sylvester Stallone and Denise Richards into the movie
3. Atleast Stallone should not have accepted to work in this film.
4. Denise was brought only to add more masala to the film in which Kareena had already shown her crippled butt. So even the exposing and nonsense did not help in getting some profits on the movie.


Ultimately its just a waste of time and money.


My rating is 1/5
My verbal rating is Don't waste your time.

Billa

This movie is a shameless improper copy of the hindi Don, the one in which SRK was the main cast. Now that you know the story. Let me tell you the super twists. Mr. Krishnam Raju is a CBI officer from India. Got one shock??? Now anyone with basic knowledge of English language would puke if he or she listens to this guys' English.

Now the second one, be ready ...

Yes this white colored byson is the first heroin. Any one who is not deranged or may even deranged people would never pick such a nasty looking heroin. There are hardly any dialogues for her. One more twist. She is killed by Billa himself. There was one love making scene between this byson and our muscular hero. However, he was gasping for breath under her.

The other heroin is Anushka. I think she was taken to only expose and she did it well. ;-)

Now its the same stupid story except that there is some good humor. A lot money has been spent on luxurious cars and I think a lot on the shooting in Malaysia. Ultimately the movie is a big flop trying to show nothing except a byson.

You can watch it when it comes on TV. Wait don't think that it is going to take long. I am very sure it is going to be very very soon. 

My rating: 1.5/8

My verbal rating: Horrible

DevD - Time to ponder about TOI ratings system

With a lot of excitement, post reading the ratings provided by Times, I finally watched Dev D. Last week a friend of mine told me that it was a crap and I argued saying Times of India gave 5 out of 5. 

At the initial stages there are a few vulgar scenes and dialogues, ofcourse people will not agree for the word vulgar as M@d@r C*od kind of words have already been made official. Post this nonsense, there is nothing in the movie except that the director tried to show its a story which resembles Devdas. Love was made fun of.

I would classify people who go for a movie into these kinds.

1. Comedy lovers

2. Story lovers

3. Action/thriller lovers

4. Horror lovers

5. People who go for the drama

6. People who want to have a squeeze in a theater

7. Misc

8. People with a lot of money and lot of time and don't know what to do

Leaving the 8th category no one else would have been happy watching such a dull movie. If you still want to go for this movie? please come back and post your experience.

My rating: 1/5
My Verbal rating: Pathetic

Vinayakudu

One sentence: One of the worst movies I ever saw

A movie without a story, without a concept without even basics of a movie is Vinayakudu. I could not comprehend the intentions of either the director or the story writer. The movie circles around a man who is as hefty as an elephant and another lady who looks good. The dialogues were so vulgar and the movie was an absolute waste of time and money (i.e. more money as TIME is MONEY).

The movie pictured that one can use their sex appeal to grow up the ladder in today's organizations. It also pictured that there are women who use anything and everything just to see themselves prosperous. While walking out I heard many people attributing it to IT and software engineers. I explained to few that real software engineers are slogging in their companies from dusk to dawn and they hardly have time to take care of their own. The movie has only spread negative energy out.

I am sorry, but I am unable to write anymore about this mess. Given a chance I wish to give a tight slap to the director, story writer and the unworthy producer.

My rating is 0/5
My verbal rating is Pathetic

Hijack ... Thats what the movie does to you

Unexceptionably Horrible. That's what would be my first word if some one asks me how is the movie.

The director tried to make a medley of all the English movies, (Hollywood movies based on Hijacks) and forgot that first of all our people cannot act in Hollywood style. The foremost important thing he missed was his capability of creating such a movie is ZERO.

The big nonsense of the movie were the main cast, specially Esha Deol. Its time Esha spares the stardom and resigns.

My rating would be ...

Rating: 0.5/5
Verbal Rating: You will regret watching it

Hello…. Please Avoid this Call !!

The much anticipated movie “Hello” a copybook adaptation of the Chetan Bhagat “One night at the Call Center” has nothing NEW to offer to the audiences. It’s easy to jump the gun and blame the sloppy screenplay & direction. However considering the fact that page-by-page adaptation of a entire novel into a 2 hour movie is really tricky, I would refrain myself from making harsh comments.

It’s easy to start picking a lot of illogical plots in the movie, Honestly a Novel released in 2005 based on a plot in 2001, released in 2008, the story is way past its sell-by date.

Considering the length of the movie, the director had too little time to get to focus on the bonding of characters, unfortunately because of which you cannot relate to the story. (as compared to the Novel) Salman & Katrina failed to add any sort of charm to the movie. Neither could Sharman Joshi; whose comic timing was missing for most part of the movie, with the exception of a couple of scenes.

This is for sure not a Theater Watch, unless you have more problems in life than the problems of all the characters in the movie put together.

I would be a little generous and give this movie a 1.5 out of 5 rating.

Kidnap

Kidnap - The movie

I always read the Times of India reviews on movies before I watch a movie. This guy rated KIDNAP as 3.5 (out of 5) which was they have even given to JaaneTuYaJaaneNa. Expecting a good movie I booked tickets for my entire family. Now lets dive into details

Just like any other stupid South Indian movie, it starts of with a song. The song has nothing to watch or listen to except if you want the voluptuous body of Minissha Lamba. Once the song is over the next scene just throws a shock of life. Minissha Lamba calls out "Mom" and there you see ... Vidya Malvade. What a joke. Vidya looks far better and dynamic than Lamba.

Very frustrated with her mother's stand on her father, Minissha goes for a swim, in a two piece bikini and suddenly gets kidnapped, by none other than our hero, Imran Khan.

From here its a stupid story, on which one should not waste neither time nor money.

My rating: 1.5/5
Rating in words: Stupid movie